bits and bants vol. 43

surgery, being an invalid, other stuff

As a cap off to my winter of illness (yes, I’m being dramatic, I just got sick a couple of times) I had a gallbladder attack that led to a somewhat emergency surgery a little over two weeks ago. My almost 40 year streak of having avoided admission to any hospital came to a crashing end. I had never had any previous symptoms of gallbladder trouble, but one attack showed inflammation and surgeons recommended I just have it removed. And when offered surgery in Canada, you should always take it. I didn’t want to live untold months on a waiting list, always having the prospect of more attacks hit me like a freight train, and my anxiety would have had a field day thinking about impending surgery every night at 3:00 am.

Me after surgery. jk, its Ria Munk on Her Deathbed by Klimt

So I conquered (by force) my fear of hospitals and surgery and had my gallbladder removed! In a matter of less than 24 hours I went from seemingly pristine gallbladder health, to not having the organ at all. It really felt like a weird whirlwind to return home after two nights in hospital to face unexpected recovery. Recovery has not been my favourite. The first week felt like little improvement happened and I was barely moving around, the second week was not a lot of sleep not because of pain but because of how impossible it was to be comfortable without moving in bed. Now I’m moving a bit better, thankfully sleeping on my side again, but lacking energy. All of which I know rationally to be normal! But it makes for living normal life so frustrating as I feel like I need a nap after just driving kids to things.

Enough about my boring health though!

The whole experience has of course led me to think a lot about caregiving, being on the other end of caregiving, and how family life really is the school of caregiving. I couldn’t help thinking how our society has such little value in caregivers and I think it is because less and less people have their own experience in caregiving. If you don’t care for infants, wives recovering from childbirth, help your aging parents in their own homes or your own home, take care of children through illness and other health issues, where do people learn how to be caregivers? I know of course it’s possible, but it is much more unusual and probably difficult to come by.

My other observation in being in several different emergency rooms over the course of my two days in hospitals for the first time in several years was simply the overwhelming numbers of people with addiction issues. At least half the people at all times of the day who were in the ER were obviously high and being treated for related health issues. This was true at our suburban, small hospital I was initially seen at, and in the large inner city hospital I had to go through in order to be seen by a surgeon. I can only imagine how difficult it is to work there everyday and see how constant the flow of such tragic circumstances must be for hospital staff.

I probably don’t need to tell you that I have done very little else in the last couple of weeks! Even reading much has been difficult, and while I wish I could say I’ve caught up on the host of tv shows I have to watch I haven’t even done that. My attention span got wiped out and I mostly watched YouTube with my kids!

The weather has started to turn and there has been so much melting, I’ve almost got a whole rack of seedling trays growing in the basement, much to my kids’ chagrin because I can’t lift anything and they’ve had to be filling and moving trays of dirt everyday. But I’m teaching them caregiving!

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bits:

• we again won’t talk about how much political stuff I’ve been reading.

• As usual, Jane Barr has the best Meghan Markle insights. I have plenty of thoughts about it but I keep returning to my frustration of how she squanders every opportunity. If she wanted to leave the royal family because she wanted to be a political mastermind why did she not do that? Why did she not make a podcast that was actually good? Why didn’t she make an entire home goods line instead of five bottles of jam? Why make a knock-off Martha Stewart show about a country life that she seemed to so callously look down upon when trying to get out of the royal family? Her inauthenticity is born out of her inability to stick to any one thing.

• This is a paid post, but I think one of the most intelligent renderings of what the reality of the Ukraine war situation is. Well worth the price of a subscription.

  Mary Harrington
  is so smart that I’m oftentimes jealous of how smart she is.

• While getting surgery really makes you think about your health, I also don’t think fear and anxiety in attaining perfect health is the answer either. I’ve noticed the stuffing down our throats about the perils of alcohol lately and it is so tiresome. This article makes good connections about our attitudes. We won’t even talk about my feelings on smoking. Are we to take the joy out of every part of life in the name of perfect health?! Modern life hates moderation.

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reading, watching, what have you:

• Not watching a lot! Gemma and I started watching Black Doves, then she of course was gone three nights in a row and we haven’t got past episode 2.

• Because it’s the last five months of winter right now and I am getting pathologically desperate for things to start growing, I’m watching a lot of gardening Youtube. If you’re at all interested in the life of flower farming this documentary has been so good.

• I’ve started The Betrothed, and am reading it alongside

  Close Reads Podcast HQ
  which helps so much in these really long, tough books. The audiobook is also helping me get through the slower parts. I like the challenge of reading a classic while at the same time not having it clog up my reading time completely, so slow reading really helps.

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Ok, I’m off to drive kids around. I already have kids complaining I can’t drive them more places this weekend and I’m already exhausted by it! It’s a great cycle! I feel like I’ve been in the thick of lent for almost a month so I haven’t changed up too much, but I am trying to cut down on superfluous screen time, but if you’re giving up something or adding something unusual or weird I would love to hear about it!

at least I’m not on narcotics anymore,

Christy