bits and bants vol. 10

everything you never needed to know about what I think about the Coronation

What ho, readers! Hope your week has gone swimmingly and you’re ready for a cheeky drink to ring in the week-end!

My week was very usual. And miracle upon miracles, I planted dahlias IN THE GROUND in the first week of May! This is such a big deal everybody! Usually I don’t plant dahlias until the last week of May because of our late frosts, however, this week has been in the 80s of Fahrenheit, read extremely hot, and the forecast has zero overnight frosts so I decided to risk it. This could pay off in dahlias in July instead of the middle of August, or it could snow six inches in two weeks and kill them all. It’s called farming/gardening in northern Canada, you’re welcome.

The most important bit of my week is obviously happening tomorrow morning beginning at 3 am. That’s right, I’m getting up and making myself a pot of tea and watching the Coronation of His Majesty King Charles III live. I’m already dreading how bad I’ll feel tomorrow afternoon as I’m out late tonight picking up some daughters from a musical, but this is the kind of sacrifice I give to king and country. I’ve got bunting hung and I’m making homemade scones to strengthen me in the wee hours.

Do I have to spell out that I’m a monarchist and a devout royals fan? If so, there, I publicly state it for the record, I stan the British Royal Family real hard. As a devout and practicing Catholic, I say, “Let ye with the perfect institution full of likeable and good people cast the first stone.” Is Charles my favourite person? No. Do I think he committed adultery, cared not one iota of the teachings of the church of which he would one day become head, smarmily wormed his mistress into the hearts of the nation while also maybe performing some moderate blackmail on his mother to get her public endorsement of said mistress as queen, while not being the greatest dad, and also holding some super weird and questionable political philosophies? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. But there is more to the monarchy than the Netflix series The Crown.

There is history, tradition, and deep seated cultural meaning. There is the human need to have a king. And there is the constancy, security, and fondness that comes from having a monarchy. As enlightened and modern as you believe that you are, I think we can all say fairly confidently that straight up democracy isn’t exactly going great. All human institutions are fallible. All political structures and systems include major downsides, and some have grave moral evils. But let’s not act like monarchy is a major step down from what has been wrought in world government structures in the past two hundred years. I say every election season that if we had a king, (and by that I mean a ruling king here in Canada not simply a head of state), I wouldn’t despise my fellow citizens near as much. I could just blame how awful everything is on one guy! The convenience! Instead of blaming and living with the fact that elected officials have untold power based on the uneducated and immoral masses which make up my country! Don’t worry, I don’t think we should abolish parliament and let Charles decide that the world will be powered by the compost we make from our daily kale intake, I’m just saying that the modern snobbishness towards the backward ways of monarchy don’t hold too much real clout when compared with how our modern political structures look today.

But! Let’s get to hot takes on what’s actually happening today/tomorrow!

• Kate’s going to look amazing and if she isn’t wearing a tiara I will hold Charles personally responsible for the rest of his life.

• I care not on iota where Harry sits, but if a candle conveniently blocks his face the ten rows back where he’ll be sitting with god forbid, the prime minister of Canada, I’ll tip my cap to the BBC.

• If anyone, anywhere comments on the behaviour of Louis, who is almost 5, in a disparaging way I will be out for blood.

• I feel kinda slimy about Camilla being crowned and I’m not a huge Diana fan. I don’t know if they’ll play it classily or not. But it feels weird still. I don’t know what I want, or if there would be a more appropriate way of going about her crowning…but yeah…it makes me in general go….eeewwww.

• The pomp and ceremony of British state events is unmatched and we should be thankful we still get to see it!

• Please, please, please, please do not watch any American feed or coverage!! Just use the internet to watch the BBC feed or SkyNews. And unfollow Elizabeth Holmes. There are just so many people who are completely ignorant of history or how the monarchy actually functions who are given paying jobs to talk. I will be posting on Instagram.

• I can’t believe I’ve actually been in Westminster Abbey! I wish so much to be in London this weekend even though it’s going to be a complete mad house. I will drown my sorrows in scones and g&ts.

bits:

• Coronation bits first; I could write a whole post on how interesting it is that the British monarch is the last monarch in the world to be anointed in a religious ceremony. Isn’t that amazing? But sad? Here’s a wonderful post explaining the various significance of the liturgy.

• Princess Anne is goals.

• I know this makes me sound like a 13 year old girl, but that is exactly how this makes me feel! I can’t think of someone who I have wanted to be more since I was 13. Can you think of a dreamier resume?? Heiress to an ancient Irish castle, landscape designer, married to an English actor. This woman is living the dream!! I’ve had this article up for two weeks now, and every day I just glance at it in a new way…probably not a good sign…

• I knew about this film project about Flannery O’Connor, but for some reason I don’t think I put together the idea the Ethan Hawke was directing it! I hope it’s good, I hope it’s good, I hope it’s good. This article with the priest helping out with the filming was lovely.

reading, watching, what have you:

• I am trying to give the Granchester series of books a try on audiobook. I found the tv series to be a bit insipid despite the dashing actors, so far the book’s mysteries feel so…mamby pamby. The delight of Father Brown is that he is a detective who understands crime and evil but has the ability to put clear and precise morality into any situation. An Anglican minister being really….Anglicany about crime feels so much less satisfying. (No offence to Anglicans, I love you, I’m just very disagreeable!)

• I haven’t been watching much but Succession and hockey playoffs. Both are stressful.

• I’m pretty sure there was something else I was going to stick in here but all I’ve done this week is plant things and be covered in dirt so….not top tips!

Have a great weekend, friends!

God save the King,

Christy