And February is over. I don’t usually reflect over a past month (or anything really), but this one was significant and went by in a bit of a blur that I’m sure will take many more months for my brain to sort out.
Having a child undergo major, body changing, life-changing surgery that requires a serious recovery time is a lot. I can safely say though that I would have definitely preferred to have had the surgery myself than my daughter, or any of my children. It is most definitely a very heart shattering experience to see your child in that much pain and to know that they are suffering so much. It is also awful to have all of it entirely out of your control. But, as my spiritual director reminded me beforehand, all motherhood is out of my control even though I cling to the illusion of it at every turn every single day.
The recovery process really turned our normal lives upside down, and a whole household had to adapt. But I think we mostly pulled through. Other kids had to sacrifice their preferences and their usual amount of outside activities while also seeing what it looks like to be unable to do things for yourself as they watched their sister heal. And I think this last week most things have returned to normal with my daughter doing well, feeling physically free of pain and more mobile, but bummed she’s still not as active as she’s used to.
Then on top of those weeks of recovery and general chaos, we’ve had discouraging, disappointing, and frustrating things come up this week outside of our immediate family. I really think that this is the default position of life; difficult things happening almost continually that you have to navigate in the best way possible as a responsible adult. I think I can almost say that while it causes stress I’m dealing with it in a much more mature way than say, ten years ago. But it does feel…discouraging. There feels to be nothing we can do about these circumstances, and nothing foreseeable that could possibly change them.
It is very much a lamp unto your feet moment. Lamps barely light up your feet. Maybe it will light up the hole right before you step into it so you can leap out of the way, but the lamp does not show you down the road where things work out, or the obstacles you have to go over to get there. Anyway, God’s word and our faith in him requires us to trust the lamplight which can be equal parts frustratingly annoying and comforting.
Lent, amirite?
bits:
lots of fab stuff out there on the World Wide Web this week, so I apologize if I missed your masterpiece or other masterpieces. I hate missing out.
This article from
about the proposed changes to the constitution in Ireland was so interesting. A cornerstone of Catholic social teaching which is different from every other political stance is the importance of the family as a social unit. It is deeply unpopular to try to encourage people to look at political policies at a familial level (I try every single election cycle and everyone hates the idea), but I do believe that’s how good policy for everyone begins. This is aside from the idea of integralism which I think has failed spectacularly. Basically, the Church should never be in bed with any government ever, we learned this approximately one million times in the last two hundred years, I’m stopping.I loved this piece from
detailing how important understanding the woman’s body is for women, but for society as a whole. Again, another hobby horse of mine.This was such a nice, refreshing piece of advice for new moms to keep pursuing the intellectual life with a healthy dose of good tips!
A really terrific booklist from
with books to keep you human. I was very proud to have read quite a few on the list and I completely agreed to their importance, and I really need to get my high schoolers to read more of them.Once a week or so I like making myself a fancy lunch. I need something to look forward to eating in the middle of the day or I just skip lunch completely or eat a bag of chips. It’s a very annoying trait. But this week I tried this recipe for mushroom tartines after I baked some sourdough and it was very delicious. A great, bougie lenten meal, almost too good to be a Friday meal, but a nice thing to make yourself if you’re already making the kids grilled cheese. I would make sure to toast the bread to the crispy side because the bechemal softens things significantly and every meal is better with significant crunch. I didn’t have gruyere, but this would be next level had I used that cheese, I only had aged cheddar as a fancy cheese and it doesn’t melt well. Wow, stop talking about this bread, Christy.
reading, watching, what have you:
we finished up the last episode of this season of All Creatures Great and Small which was lovely as usual. I do miss more animal forward episodes. Not that this iteration of the show has ever been too keen on the animal parts of things, but as someone who watched the original show umpteen times and read the books, the animal stories were so endearing and memorable. The show is still great, don’t come for me.
I’m still reading The Road and it is heartbreaking, terrifying, and compulsively readable. Very fitting for lent and parenting and all the things, really.
I would love recommendations for something good to watch by myself when I need to hide in my room and watch Netflix. Should I just go back to Korean rom-coms? I found One Day to be so dull, could not finish.
And I would love for you to come to Ireland with
and I this coming October! It’s going to be an amazing experience of the culture, faith, and beauty of Ireland.Here is the brochure for all the details.
And that’s it for me. Here’s to an enriching March for all of us, but don’t say spring in my presence. It’s just lenten winter desert until at least the end of April around here and I just grow increasingly bitter at spring existing elsewhere. You come here for these cheery anecdotes, don’t you?
freezingly yours,
Christy
Thanks for the link, Christy!
Do you ever rewatch old shows? I turn to Parks and Rec when I need a nice happy escape. Alternatively my husband and I are really into The Traitors (UK! Which is full of ordinary Brits, Not US, which is full of reality TV stars.) I don’t know if you can get the British one over there- you might need a VPN.
Christy, reading about your daughter's surgery had me just about to head out the door with soup, but then I remembered we don't actually live in the same country. (Details). Sending love and prayers in the aftermath of surgery. I like to cling to my illusions of control, too - you're one brave mom, and she's a brave kiddo.
All Creatures - for any residual February vibes, I HIGHLY recommend getting yourself a St. Nicholas statue like Mrs. H keeps in the entry way.