bits and bants vol.34
on the brink of summer, even if it doesn't feel like it
I realized today that I haven’t even been on Substack in ten days to answer my comments from my previous post so, I don’t know where the time is going! And apologies for taking ten days to be back here in any capacity.
May is always a busy time around here with birthdays, and activities, and spring finally happening, and the ability to go outside without a jacket (most days, don’t get too excited!), and more activities, and a giant garden to plant. I would say I only have a couple hundred more seedlings to get in the ground and I’ll be all planted up and ready for the daily task of constantly weeding. Our spring has been very cold and wet so we’re about three weeks behind where things were last spring, I’ve barely gotten daffodils and tulips! My beloved apple tree has finally sprang into bloom, only to be ravaged by wind and rain the last two days. But it makes such a pleasant change from being constantly desperate for rain and worried about forest fires.
It is also, surprisingly, the winding up of the school year. I am one of those loosey-goosey homeschoolers who don’t actually have an end of school date chosen. I usually just trickle off as the will to do any type of school makes me cringe as we near June. I have been homeschooling for so long that the endless days of doing school with my kids is just my default, so I feel like I wake up one morning in mid-May with the prospect of actually being done school for the year an actual possibility a great surprise!
It is beyond unacceptable to say that I treat homeschooling like a job, but I do. Most of the time because homeschooling really requires a lot of discipline on my part to be consistent, get the things done, get the kids actually doing the school. If I viewed it as a passion project that I did because it was fulfilling and sparked joy everyday I don’t know if I would have homeschooled past two months for one kid in kindergarten. Let alone with five kids, twelve years later. I find it very ironic that traditional school teachers are allowed to post memes about not being able to wait for the end of school because they’re so tired and burnt out, but if a homeschooling mom posted something like that there would be calls for her to immediately cease doing something so awful to herself! I don’t say this because I think I’m a martyr or that society is persecuting me, but just that there are unsaid societal standards that are common and that shape how we view certain choices compared to others. I think it’s helpful to see things as job, like staying home with my kids is oftentimes like a job, because if I saw it purely as something I loved to do for the joy of it there would be so many days that would feel like failure. For the vast, vast majority of adults throughout history jobs and work were not/are not soul fulfilling at every level because they serve a greater purpose, contrary to about five instagram stories you’ve scrolled past in the last hour!
All of which to say five thousand words later, I’m glad summer is coming! I can feel that being snowed under with so much going on in the last month or so that I’m nearing the end of my tether, and I can see a couple miles in the distance the town of I Hate Everything approaching quickly so a needed break is welcome. Sometimes a break of just one thing in your life is what’s needed to gain some mental margin again. Plus the added bonus of good weather, plants growing again, and the fun of summer are such good things to look forward to and actually enjoy.
bits:
I had an instagram conversation this week about something similar, location tracking your spouse/significant other and how it’s become completely normal for Gen Z. But this is also a disturbing trend we all see.
I really liked ‘s thoughts on mental health her newsletter this week. It is a much more nuanced issue than simply telling someone therapy, or self care, or meds, or just pray it away! I would say we also need time alone. An understanding of our own souls and relationship with God. But it is so difficult in our current very confusing time to even find these answers.
reading, watching, what have you:
reading Pilgrim at Tinker Creek for the first time, I feel like I always put off these contemplative, beautifully written books until a book club forces me to prioritize.
Also reading Why Do The Heathen Rage by Flannery O’Connor that has recently been edited and put together by Jessica Hooten Wilson. I’m reading along with the Collegium Institute which is running a four week course reading through the book.
I watched the four episodes of Bridgerton that have been released so far and I’m not going to lie, it’s enjoyable. It is very much Regency fantasy but I can’t look away!
come with me to Ireland!
wrote such a lovely piece about the beauty of real, in person travel with other people last week and it was just so wonderful to think about travelling with kindred spirits again! I would love if you’d consider travelling with Katie and I this coming October, to experience the beauty and wonder of Ireland together, and to meet amazing people!
Here is the brochure for all the details.
I am about to bundle up to try and plant something even though the wind is making things absolutely freezing out. I may also need to go help try and find my parents wayward puppy who we can’t seem to find this morning. We’ll see how much I accomplish before hitting the road forgetting kids places all weekend! Hope you have a lovely weekend!
Christy
“I think it’s helpful to see things as job, like staying home with my kids is oftentimes like a job, because if I saw it purely as something I loved to do for the joy of it there would be so many days that would feel like failure.” This really struck me, especially as I’m still mulling over the whole housework vs/ plus creative work for women. I feel like on the one hand, if housekeeping is my “job”, I’m pretty much a failure. But it’s definitely not a passion project 😂- it’s laborious. But if I treat it like, I don’t know, maybe paid consultancy, I tend to have a better outlook. I only need to swoop in and do it every so often (read: every few hours), and then it’s done and I can focus on other (generally more enjoyable) things. It’s the mental load of it that I need to make lighter.
Thanks for your link and thoughts on my piece. I totally agree that alone time, and alone with God time, is so important. Sometimes I wonder if therapy is the only place that people experience someone else really listening, in this crazy modern world, and therefore the only place they actually stop and think? (Not universally, of course.)
My most depressing day of the year (not really, but up there haha!) is when everyone goes back to school and I see the posts from jubilant mothers who have free time again, at which point I have to fight the speedy slide down the hole of self pity when I remember that I have to provide the structure, motivation, resources and energy for the homeschool that I run (usually by September I’ve forgotten and am thrilled to not be packing lunches). This year we limped to the finish line and will probably need to do some math over the summer because well, moving. But I absolutely agree that I have to treat homeschooling and parenting like my job. When I expect it to be easy I’m very disappointed and frustrated. When I take ownership and don’t pretend I can do it while multitasking, everything runs more smoothly