bits and bants vol.51

a summer stream of consciousness but I don't mention back to school and for that I wish to be congratulated

I was shocked to see that I have not sent out a post since 18 July when I could have sworn it was at the beginning of August! I know it’s beyond cliche to say that the summer has flown by, but it really has and it has been a blur. I also wish I could say I was virtuous enough to be intentionally staying offline, but really I’ve been online just not doing anything constructive or staying up on communicating with others here on Substack! What are we if we cannot virtuously brag about staying off the internet on the internet??

Van Gogh in the summer is the best

I think I can say truthfully though that while the summer has been objectively busy, it has also been restful. I can say that honestly because in the last week as I start to schedule regular school-life routine again that my “productivity” has plummeted over the summer! This is a good thing! I swear that it shows maturity and personal growth on my end. It may only be noticeable in hindsight when normal routine kicks in, I see how much has to be done in a day and compare it with what I’ve been doing daily over the summer and it is substantially less. While it doesn’t mean that I’ve been on vacation all summer, it does mean that there has been a lot less on plate in quantity. The priority this summer has been to be flexible, get kids where they want to go in a reasonable way, enjoy my garden, hang out with friends and family, squeeze in a family vacation, and enjoy another major family event with a family wedding a few weeks ago. These targets have been meant!

The house hasn’t been perfectly clean, but some major cleaning projects got done which relieves a homeschooling mom’s mind, kids slept in till all hours but also camped and stayed up too late most nights. I was still able to help family out in different ways while maybe not making as many home cooked meals. My point is that the season while busy, was busy at a lower pace. This is noteworthy because as I continue to harp on, moms(especially stay at home moms) make their own rules and expectations. If I wanted my summer to feel no different when it comes to pace and busy-ness levels I could have easily made that happen. More likely it would have happened regardless unless I intentionally decided to live as if it actually is a different season. I’m not sure what I intentionally changed that marked a difference, but I will say that only grocery shopping when I must, not caring about laundry at all, and not scheduling much other than necessary doctors appointments which mercifully haven’t been too many the last two months all seemed to make the biggest difference when it came to time benefits. For me personally, I really need a break in the summer because I homeschool. My kids have really on the whole been really good at understanding our collective daily goal to get our schoolwork done and to listen to me well, but there is just a very large daily load for the homeschooling mom even when she is very streamlined and minimal with schoolwork. The hard part about figuring out a break when you’re a homeschooling mom during the summer or anytime is that your kids are always home so it’s much more on you creating that break that doesn’t come in September. I think I’ve gotten better at this over the years, and obviously bigger kids helps in a lot of ways, but also is harder in a lot of ways because they just do more all the time not just during the school year. Ok, this is blathering at this point, stayed tuned for my 4 hours podcast where I just talk about the inane minutiae of motherhood during the summer.

In gardening updates, because, seriously, my garden is a frighteningly large part of my life and mental capacity, the garden has been a fairly large failure. While the weather was not anywhere near optimal, it became fairly apparent in the early part of the summer that I was having across the board terrible germination and growth throughout my various flower crops. Now, at the bitter end of August I still have zinnias that are four inches high which I thought was scientifically impossible. We’re fairly certain it is a soil issue since it was new soil brought in for the garden plot, and I’ve done at home soil testing which leans towards a total deficiency in nitrogen which basically means things really aren’t going to grow. But I can say that it is one of the most disappointing things to have such a large plot with literally thousands of plants but not be able to pick more than one bouquet at a time. It feels completely wrong that this much space and plants should be giving so few blooms. I have plans in place to correct things as best we can, but the disappointment is just such a crushing blow. We have such a short growing season, and I start and plant so many seeds, and so many hours go into it…it’s just lamentable.

I will say though that I bought two really nice and really expensive trees today and it’s honestly one of the most exciting things I’ve done in a while! I don’t understand why buying trees doesn’t bring everyone happiness!? We have older trees that are simply dying and needing to be taken out, but the ability to be able to choose my own trees and plant them where I want them is just dreamy! I’m the proud new owner of an Autumn Blaze Maple and a new Radiant crabapple, so things are looking up.

I’m also trying to decide on light fixtures which you wouldn’t think would be difficult, but somehow is surprisingly difficult. I think lighting changes the entire feel of a house and most of our main floor still has the lighting that came with the house which was pretty brutal. I would like to nail down the foyer and hallway lighting which is only four light fixtures but I would like to pay less than $500 for all of them, the problem being I have Rejuvenation taste.

Which brings us to being in our new house for almost one year at the end of September. I don’t know where the year has gone, and while we have already done a lot around the house and property, it still feels like we’ve barely made a dent in what we want to do. I think the upkeep and maintenance and continual development of your house is half stress/half enjoyment. Maybe more enjoyment for me since I’m still a newbie, but I do just really love thinking about, and making thoughtful decisions about what to fix and what to add but I know for a large part of the population there is no enjoyment in that. I know most people don’t want to own property because of the upkeep of outside spaces. But the upkeep and keeping up and adding and maintaining feels like some of the best ways to spend your time. I think growing up in the country with an agricultural background helps make this a natural attitude on my part and I’m not just a Wendell Berry fangirl, but there is something really rewarding to caring for a place and property. And I think it’s a type of rewarding that you don’t get in any other area of life. Or maybe, just don’t get in any the same way from any other area of life. I think I’m probably not quite articulately this the way I want to, but one day I might.

Ok, I’m going to stop there before I go into the really boring parts of life that is taking up most of my time like, shopping for a car, helping teenagers apply for jobs, and other parenting woes.

You’re welcome.

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bits:

• I don’t even know where to begin because my mind has already lost everything great I’ve read in the last month but I know there’s been quite a bit!

• I love all of

  Dominika
  ’s book lists, but was surprised I DIDN’T own so many books on this list. I mean, I own the majority of them, but to not own even SOME books on such a list!! I love a challenge though, and the day after I read this post I hit a thrift store and found a handful of them without even trying too hard!

A picture book directory for the overwhelmed parent at the public library

Henry Oliver

reshared this piece he wrote last summer about Mary Shelley and Taylor Swift and when I say I enjoyed every word with a deep enjoyment I am not giving enough praise. I am always defensive about Mary Shelley because I think she is underrated and just one of the most interesting women ever, and the absurdity of people trying to make intelligent currency out of the completely misplaced idea that Taylor Swift somehow isn’t appreciated enough is so obnoxious.

No, Taylor Swift is not Mary Shelley

• I also have a Taylor Swift deeply unpopular opinion I’m going to bury right in here: I am glad she’s finally engaged, but we need to stop it with this “young love” bullshit. Now I don’t want to be ageist because I am getting old and suddenly everyone younger than 30 views me as a senior citizen, but Taylor Swift is 35. That is not young. Does she look amazing because she can spend untold amounts of money to look as young as she wants? Yes. But we as a society keep living in perpetual adolescence and I’m so bored by it. Why can’t we just celebrate her as a woman who is finally getting married after untold public heartache expressed in a very consumable pop music genre? There’s nothing wrong with not being young anymore! But we also need to stop acting as if getting married at 35 is the new equivalent of getting married after high school. It’s weird. I also think that if you talk to any unmarried woman who happens to be 35 or older she does not want to be treated as if her falling in love is somehow only adequate if it’s labelled “young love”. I don’t know, I could go on but no one wants this.

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reading, watching, what have you:

• I have been reading a lot this summer which is another good sign! I read The Correspondent which is definitely the best book that I’ve read that’s been published this year; worth the hype but definitely will only appeal to readers who don’t need a plot and like epistolary.

• Definitely jumped on The Gilded Age bandwagon but I’m just through the first season. It is so funny to see how Julian Fellowes can make a completely different hit show from simply transferring characters from one country to another! I just find it funny that no one said, “Hey, maybe the young, naive kitchen maid who doesn’t feel the same way about the footman who’s madly in love with her downstairs has already been done?” Maybe Julian just has a short memory!

• Watched The Thursday Night Murder Club last night, and you know I’m a big a fan of the series, and was really looking forward to the movie! Sadly, the movie just didn’t give the characters their due, and most likely because they tried to squish so much plot into two hours. It really should have been a mini series because the great parts of the book, the characters and the sense of humour, would have been allowed us to really spend time with the characters which is what’s so much fun about the books. The books aren’t great mysteries and the plots are so convoluted that I understand the cutting down of various subplots, but the solving of the murders seemed fairly anticlimactic. Of course I loved the cast and the sets, while over the top were really great. Still a fun watch if you don’t think about it too much.

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I am finishing this post and sending it out if only to have posted once in August! Thank you for making it this far, I hope you’re having the best long weekend, you deserve it.

tired of grilling ready for soup,

Christy