I'm actually rereading a Father's Tale for WRM and a friend was griping about how it just goes on and on...did he have to visit 2 art museums? I'll pass my words on to you... just wait until he gets to Siberia and stays there...for hundreds of pages...
All my kids are still under 5, so I’m still a long way from teenagers, but I would certainly appreciate a balanced take on the realities of parenting teens that is neither “oh wait, it just gets harder!” nor “I’m my 16-yo’s best friend,” both of which seem rampant online. After seeing older siblings make bad choices, it was really clear to me, even an a teen myself, that parents can do literally everything right and their kids may still choose to live in destructive and stupid ways because…free will. It’s a hard truth of parenting that I constantly remind myself of while dealing with toddlers, but it can be difficult to not be fatalistic about that reality.
I still have about 200 pages of “A Father’s Tale” to go, but I think it’s already filled almost every box on the “cringey Catholic wannabe literature” bingo card. My husband keeps joking that O’Brien is just going to have thousands more anti-fans after this who will ensure none of his other books sell. The second half of the book is exactly what EWTN would order if it were in the business of making Hallmark movies. Not to mention the few chapters that were obviously just his attempt to get all his incomplete and supposedly profound thoughts about communism & Christianity onto the page. I could go on, but I’ll save a bit for Christy’s full critique 🙃
LOL. I haven't finished The Father's Tale yet, but I feel validated in my opinion of it thus far after reading your summary. "Cringey Catholic wannabe literature" is an apt description. I am currently listening to The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt while trying to read Father's Tale in order to remind myself what good literature sounds like.
I'm so glad you're with me! I mean, The Goldfinch isn't perfect either and I would also like to have had more editing on that book, but at the same time it got valid criticism and lots of people hated it but at the very least her prose is fantastic!
I'll admit The Goldfinch could have used more editing, but her prose and her Wagnerian ability to build/release tension is still just as gripping the second time thru. On a separate note, comparing Father's Tale to previous Well-Read Mom books: I thought I disliked Steinbeck's East of Eden for being preachy, but Michael O'Brien in my opinion is so much worse. His symbolic imagery is so clumsy and obvious. Give the reader some credit, we're not idiots!
Ooo Wagnerian ability is the perfect way to describe her style! I like that! I am a Tartt fan so my milage goes far with The Goldfinch! I loved East of Eden because while it is preachy, I feel like he earns his preachy-ness by how dramatically he wields the plot. O'Brien is so lazy in that he just assumes we think it's dramatic without actually building any tension. He just tells us it's supposed to be dramatic! People are suffering! And it is so wearisome.
That’s a good point about Steinbeck. Steinbeck also really knows how to build a compelling character, whether they are a goodie like Samuel or a baddie like Kathy. Unlike O’Brien. While the inclusion of anecdotes about life in the USSR is interesting, it just doesn’t feel like a novel. It would have been a better book if O’Brien had just been a nonfiction book comprising stories and his reflections on Russia.
Yes! In my review, coming in eight hours, I used the word textbook because it felt like you were reading a textbook. It didn't feel real and exciting, it felt dead on the page. He just assumes we think it's dramatic. Alex says he's suffering so he's suffering! Every Russian says they're suffering so they're suffering! Ugh, I just felt so bashed on the head by his complete lack of nuance.
I think I tried that one and couldn't make it past the fifth chapter. I've never liked Michael O'Brien so I will admit my bias, but The Father's Tale was just bad all around. I'm sure his other books must be marginally better if you like his style.
I started it a couple years ago and gave up after a couple chapters. It was maybe better than Father's Tale though. But when I tried to get my husband to read Father's Tale so he could complain about it with me, he said no because he'd read a few chapters of Island of the World and decided that was enough Michael O'Brien for one lifetime.
This was my last reading of Michael O'Brien, that's for sure! I think from people I've talked to who've read more of his writing that most of his other books are better than this one, which isn't hard!
I may try another O'Brien book just to give him a second chance, but I'm a little surprised Well-Read Mom picked this book. To be fair, not every book on their reading last has to be an award-winning masterpiece, but a 1,000+ page book by a mediocre author is a lot to ask.
Thanks, Jo. It is a hard line to tread which I completely understand, and I get people wanting to publicly laud their teenagers when they're amazing, but the problem with social media is that we then see only the lauding posts about how perfect these kids are, and for some reason I have not been gifted with the personality trait of only seeing my children as perfect beings! I wish though! But yes, it really boils down to free will and we can't control other people's free will, which is so frustrating!
I loved this essay! It really resonated with me. As an oldest sibling who saw a much younger sister make some very bad choices in high school, I got a sense of how hard it is for parents to deal with these situations, but even though my oldest is only 7, I have already experienced how much harder it is to actually be the parent.
Also I'm having a hard time believing anybody could actually enjoy Father's Tale. The constant clichés, the frequent misused words, the appalling Russian, and the pages and pages of incredibly unrealistic dialogue all drive me insane! I am convinced it has actually no literary merit and people only like it because it's Catholic. One of my favourite quotes is when Irina is drinking beer (oh! The horror!): “In another country this might have appeared crude and unwomanly, but she drank with such reserve, even delicacy, that no observer would have mistaken her for anything other than a person worthy of deference.” As my dad would say, "Gag me with a spoon."
Haha I’m going to come back here after our WRM meeting just in case no one else agrees with me about how bad it is!!! The ending! Ack. I actually think the scenes that are most palatable are the ones where he’s simply describing the Russian icons or certain aspects of their culture. The actual plot, characters, dialogue— nope. Why not just go straight to the font and read some Dostoevsky? lol.
Thank you. The ending made me insane. It was the first point I brought up at the meeting. People were trying to justify it but I was like “NOPE”. He just needed it end it, I guess, so it went out with a whimper, after all that deus ex machina junk in the preceding 200 pages. I also nearly screamed when he violated every Detection Club rule by literally saying, “Some mysteries just won’t be revealed till Heaven,” as his lame excuse for not actually being able to explain or tie up the million threads from the “missing son/metaphysics cult/CIA/KGB” half-baked subplots!!!!! Gahhhhhh!!
Whenever you write that, or any other parenting book, I will be the first to preorder it. And your comments towards the end, that motherhood isn’t (or at least shouldn’t be) performative, or about our own ego, I think needs a lot more press in the age of online parenting - so much seems to be done in pursuit of some non-existent kudos. And yes, also hard to remember that motherhood is not who we are or the thing that defines our value. It is very very hard to hold onto that. And finally let’s just be honest that our own kids can really suck and be very unlikeable at times. I feel like that was an accepted reality until about 20 years ago. Bon courage!!
That's kind of you, Gina! Parenting is a long slog and it is really hard to keep proper perspective on it. I keep thinking maybe the parents who are so good at it just have a completely different personality than I do. There has to be some sane answer! Or maybe not and I just need to have more personal growth to get there too. But a lot of it comes down to understanding that there is so much you can't control.
Love your comments thus far on The Father’s Tale! I got very, very frustrated when I figured out that it was set in 1999 and yet he didn’t have his son’s phone number memorized (or his friend Father Toby); why direct your embassy to track down info for these people when you definitely would have had it yourself?!
Hahaha, I missed that! He did so many stupid things so often though I started to just glare over. You could not take that character credibly which is why it was so ridiculous he was people thought he was a spy at the end! I could not handle it. Could. Not. Handle.
Thank you for this post! This past year parenting a young adult was one of the most lonely and challenging years of my life. It seems no one talks about these struggles, so I had to basically beg moms a bit further on for advice. But it’s so lonely. Thankfully, we’re in a less desperate spot at the moment, but I still could use that parenting book. I’m sorry you’re going through it now, but so grateful you shared.
I'm sorry to hear that, Pam. It is really difficult, and I know it's supposed to be hard, but at the same time you just don't expect it to be hard in the ways that it actually happens, you know? And also I feel like there's no middle ground in parenting older kids, they're either perfect and parents ignore any bad things they're doing, or the kids are doomed and terrible. It's so sad and frustrating. I hope it gets better. Somehow.
Christy, you are one of the moms I admire most! Seriously! I love your honesty and I will 100% buy your parenting book :)) Thanks for the Middlemarch shoutout!!
I'm sorry parenting is rough right now! I don't envy you. On a separate note I look forward to hearing your thoughts on The Father's Tale because I'm slogging through it as well and not enjoying it.
It really is a daily death to the ego, and if it's not you might not be doing it right? Or more likely you're just going through an easier season. But it's a challenge!
SEVERANCE!!!! It's so good! I watched season 1 with David in 2022 soon after it came out and it has been torture waiting 3 years for season 2, you have no ideaaaaa
Omg if I watched it in 2022 I think I would have lost my mind. I immediately watched the first episode of season 2 after we finished the first season and even though it didn't give me very many answers, it helped a little. I'm now totally caught up! I am addicted!
I'm actually rereading a Father's Tale for WRM and a friend was griping about how it just goes on and on...did he have to visit 2 art museums? I'll pass my words on to you... just wait until he gets to Siberia and stays there...for hundreds of pages...
Why are you rereading?! Don't do it! Let me give you some badly written books that are much more entertaining to read!
I’m still stuck in Siberia!! Does he ever get out? 😂
I definitely started wanting him to die in Siberia, but there were still four hundred pages left...
You'll have to wait
...and wait...to see!
All my kids are still under 5, so I’m still a long way from teenagers, but I would certainly appreciate a balanced take on the realities of parenting teens that is neither “oh wait, it just gets harder!” nor “I’m my 16-yo’s best friend,” both of which seem rampant online. After seeing older siblings make bad choices, it was really clear to me, even an a teen myself, that parents can do literally everything right and their kids may still choose to live in destructive and stupid ways because…free will. It’s a hard truth of parenting that I constantly remind myself of while dealing with toddlers, but it can be difficult to not be fatalistic about that reality.
I still have about 200 pages of “A Father’s Tale” to go, but I think it’s already filled almost every box on the “cringey Catholic wannabe literature” bingo card. My husband keeps joking that O’Brien is just going to have thousands more anti-fans after this who will ensure none of his other books sell. The second half of the book is exactly what EWTN would order if it were in the business of making Hallmark movies. Not to mention the few chapters that were obviously just his attempt to get all his incomplete and supposedly profound thoughts about communism & Christianity onto the page. I could go on, but I’ll save a bit for Christy’s full critique 🙃
LOL. I haven't finished The Father's Tale yet, but I feel validated in my opinion of it thus far after reading your summary. "Cringey Catholic wannabe literature" is an apt description. I am currently listening to The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt while trying to read Father's Tale in order to remind myself what good literature sounds like.
I'm so glad you're with me! I mean, The Goldfinch isn't perfect either and I would also like to have had more editing on that book, but at the same time it got valid criticism and lots of people hated it but at the very least her prose is fantastic!
I'll admit The Goldfinch could have used more editing, but her prose and her Wagnerian ability to build/release tension is still just as gripping the second time thru. On a separate note, comparing Father's Tale to previous Well-Read Mom books: I thought I disliked Steinbeck's East of Eden for being preachy, but Michael O'Brien in my opinion is so much worse. His symbolic imagery is so clumsy and obvious. Give the reader some credit, we're not idiots!
Ooo Wagnerian ability is the perfect way to describe her style! I like that! I am a Tartt fan so my milage goes far with The Goldfinch! I loved East of Eden because while it is preachy, I feel like he earns his preachy-ness by how dramatically he wields the plot. O'Brien is so lazy in that he just assumes we think it's dramatic without actually building any tension. He just tells us it's supposed to be dramatic! People are suffering! And it is so wearisome.
That’s a good point about Steinbeck. Steinbeck also really knows how to build a compelling character, whether they are a goodie like Samuel or a baddie like Kathy. Unlike O’Brien. While the inclusion of anecdotes about life in the USSR is interesting, it just doesn’t feel like a novel. It would have been a better book if O’Brien had just been a nonfiction book comprising stories and his reflections on Russia.
Yes! In my review, coming in eight hours, I used the word textbook because it felt like you were reading a textbook. It didn't feel real and exciting, it felt dead on the page. He just assumes we think it's dramatic. Alex says he's suffering so he's suffering! Every Russian says they're suffering so they're suffering! Ugh, I just felt so bashed on the head by his complete lack of nuance.
I'm just here with metaphorical popcorn for all the O'Brien takes. lol
Have either of you read his Island of the World?? That's the one I've had recommended multiple times and I'm wondering if it's at all different!
I think I tried that one and couldn't make it past the fifth chapter. I've never liked Michael O'Brien so I will admit my bias, but The Father's Tale was just bad all around. I'm sure his other books must be marginally better if you like his style.
I started it a couple years ago and gave up after a couple chapters. It was maybe better than Father's Tale though. But when I tried to get my husband to read Father's Tale so he could complain about it with me, he said no because he'd read a few chapters of Island of the World and decided that was enough Michael O'Brien for one lifetime.
This was my last reading of Michael O'Brien, that's for sure! I think from people I've talked to who've read more of his writing that most of his other books are better than this one, which isn't hard!
I may try another O'Brien book just to give him a second chance, but I'm a little surprised Well-Read Mom picked this book. To be fair, not every book on their reading last has to be an award-winning masterpiece, but a 1,000+ page book by a mediocre author is a lot to ask.
Thanks, Jo. It is a hard line to tread which I completely understand, and I get people wanting to publicly laud their teenagers when they're amazing, but the problem with social media is that we then see only the lauding posts about how perfect these kids are, and for some reason I have not been gifted with the personality trait of only seeing my children as perfect beings! I wish though! But yes, it really boils down to free will and we can't control other people's free will, which is so frustrating!
Omg. So cringey but also, so enraging!
I loved this essay! It really resonated with me. As an oldest sibling who saw a much younger sister make some very bad choices in high school, I got a sense of how hard it is for parents to deal with these situations, but even though my oldest is only 7, I have already experienced how much harder it is to actually be the parent.
Also I'm having a hard time believing anybody could actually enjoy Father's Tale. The constant clichés, the frequent misused words, the appalling Russian, and the pages and pages of incredibly unrealistic dialogue all drive me insane! I am convinced it has actually no literary merit and people only like it because it's Catholic. One of my favourite quotes is when Irina is drinking beer (oh! The horror!): “In another country this might have appeared crude and unwomanly, but she drank with such reserve, even delicacy, that no observer would have mistaken her for anything other than a person worthy of deference.” As my dad would say, "Gag me with a spoon."
Thanks, Anne! I appreciate it.
Omg. His dialogue was so cringe. That's the only word for it.
Haha I’m going to come back here after our WRM meeting just in case no one else agrees with me about how bad it is!!! The ending! Ack. I actually think the scenes that are most palatable are the ones where he’s simply describing the Russian icons or certain aspects of their culture. The actual plot, characters, dialogue— nope. Why not just go straight to the font and read some Dostoevsky? lol.
Ok, I finished it this week and the ending was so bad I was almost shocked. If I had the physical book I would have thrown it across the room.
Thank you. The ending made me insane. It was the first point I brought up at the meeting. People were trying to justify it but I was like “NOPE”. He just needed it end it, I guess, so it went out with a whimper, after all that deus ex machina junk in the preceding 200 pages. I also nearly screamed when he violated every Detection Club rule by literally saying, “Some mysteries just won’t be revealed till Heaven,” as his lame excuse for not actually being able to explain or tie up the million threads from the “missing son/metaphysics cult/CIA/KGB” half-baked subplots!!!!! Gahhhhhh!!
Whenever you write that, or any other parenting book, I will be the first to preorder it. And your comments towards the end, that motherhood isn’t (or at least shouldn’t be) performative, or about our own ego, I think needs a lot more press in the age of online parenting - so much seems to be done in pursuit of some non-existent kudos. And yes, also hard to remember that motherhood is not who we are or the thing that defines our value. It is very very hard to hold onto that. And finally let’s just be honest that our own kids can really suck and be very unlikeable at times. I feel like that was an accepted reality until about 20 years ago. Bon courage!!
That's kind of you, Gina! Parenting is a long slog and it is really hard to keep proper perspective on it. I keep thinking maybe the parents who are so good at it just have a completely different personality than I do. There has to be some sane answer! Or maybe not and I just need to have more personal growth to get there too. But a lot of it comes down to understanding that there is so much you can't control.
I would 100% read your parenting book.
Haha! Thank you, Lee! You may be the only one!
Love your comments thus far on The Father’s Tale! I got very, very frustrated when I figured out that it was set in 1999 and yet he didn’t have his son’s phone number memorized (or his friend Father Toby); why direct your embassy to track down info for these people when you definitely would have had it yourself?!
Hahaha, I missed that! He did so many stupid things so often though I started to just glare over. You could not take that character credibly which is why it was so ridiculous he was people thought he was a spy at the end! I could not handle it. Could. Not. Handle.
Thank you for this post! This past year parenting a young adult was one of the most lonely and challenging years of my life. It seems no one talks about these struggles, so I had to basically beg moms a bit further on for advice. But it’s so lonely. Thankfully, we’re in a less desperate spot at the moment, but I still could use that parenting book. I’m sorry you’re going through it now, but so grateful you shared.
(Also can’t wait for the O’Brien rant!)
I'm sorry to hear that, Pam. It is really difficult, and I know it's supposed to be hard, but at the same time you just don't expect it to be hard in the ways that it actually happens, you know? And also I feel like there's no middle ground in parenting older kids, they're either perfect and parents ignore any bad things they're doing, or the kids are doomed and terrible. It's so sad and frustrating. I hope it gets better. Somehow.
Christy, you are one of the moms I admire most! Seriously! I love your honesty and I will 100% buy your parenting book :)) Thanks for the Middlemarch shoutout!!
Haha, you would buy my parenting book for the laughs!
I'm sorry parenting is rough right now! I don't envy you. On a separate note I look forward to hearing your thoughts on The Father's Tale because I'm slogging through it as well and not enjoying it.
Thank you!
I’m not in the teenage stage yet. Parenting is such a death of the ego. I’m dealing with it really well so far (haha ya right).
It really is a daily death to the ego, and if it's not you might not be doing it right? Or more likely you're just going through an easier season. But it's a challenge!
SEVERANCE!!!! It's so good! I watched season 1 with David in 2022 soon after it came out and it has been torture waiting 3 years for season 2, you have no ideaaaaa
Omg if I watched it in 2022 I think I would have lost my mind. I immediately watched the first episode of season 2 after we finished the first season and even though it didn't give me very many answers, it helped a little. I'm now totally caught up! I am addicted!
It's so smart and fascinating and compelling!!! I'm trying to get everyone I know to watch it even though nobody has AppleTV lmao