I can definitely relate to the internet conundrum. One thing I realized is that for me there is a difference between reading because I’m naturally a curious person and like to know things, and researching/reading as a way to gain more information because somehow if I know everything it will make me less anxious. Usually the latter is done when I don’t really have time to do that, and is a sort of info gathering escapism. Like if I just know more about this I will be safer. For me this presents mostly in the form of medical/health research. Recently the baby had something come up we needed to check on and I would say it was a big sign of growth that I consciously chose to not go down the Internet rabbit hole. I took the actionable steps and then just waited. I think this is harder with things like politics because the actionable steps are totally unclear. For now, postpartum, I know it’s a bad time to be engaged with most things that are in the realm of “more information”.
Which is a long way of saying, gosh I don’t know. I also would sometimes like to be blissfully ignorant but it’s not really how I’m wired AND I’m pretty ignorant at the moment for survival purposes.
Yes! I know that urge to overly research well. I spent Covid obsessively checking health numbers and statistics and couldn't understand why other people didn't understand basic statistics! Sometimes I'm like, what has being smart gotten me?? A life of anxiety because I know too much and can critically think?? The ignorant masses are blissfully unaware! I know of course that's not true, but it does feel easier at times. I think it's objectively healthier now to be checked out of news consumption, and I don't consume any traditional mainstream media, I just read long boring articles and still that ramps up my anxiety at times. If I didn't have a genuine interest I would gladly fully check out. Maybe. We can hope.
Oh my goodness, I needed to laugh at this today. Thank you!!! “A life of anxiety because I know too much and can critically think?” — I feel it in my actual bones. Especially since I spent the morning on the phone scheduling medical appts and have been resisting the Google hole with varying success.
Here to say I identify completely with the blessing/conundrum of the internet interests for the stay-at-home mom trying to cobble together an intellectual life. Loved this paragraph so much it hurts. hahaha --->
"I’m not sure if this is a ridiculous niche concern in the population of moms out there. I am a highly disagreeable, ENTJ who doesn’t share a very common personality type with other moms/women, and has weird, nerdy interests. Frankly, if you’re reading and don’t know what the heck I’m talking about, you are a healthier and cooler person than I am."
Haha! I mean, I read a lot on the internet and I just wish I sometimes didn't have this genuine interest in political theory. If I could blissfully completely check out that would be great. There's responsible citizenship of course, but that can be done fairly easily without daily consumption of any form of "news", so I don't judge people at all if they don't consume it!
We talked about how the father stories are all so depressing at our book club meeting last night. There ARE happy stories about fatherhood, and I would like to read some of those, please.
There really are! Or even fatherhood stories presented differently? I'm thinking Pride and Prejudice or Kristin Lavransdatter as examples, obviously they've been chosen before, but those stories fatherhood is very important to the story but it isn't the exact plot line of father goes out to look for missing child only to have heart broken in most depressing way possible.
We did an informal poll of the husbands - responses ranged from "yes, fatherhood is like that" to "sad stories are just easier to write, you guys should read A River Runs Through It."
Haha! As a River Runs Through It lover, I would always read that book. People at my book club were trying to tel me that we need more reminders of how real fatherhood isn’t appreciated or seen in our world and it’s good to read these books back to back. But I feel like that doesn’t quite give enough credit to us as mothers. I think mothers hearts are equally as broken by their children, and I think as mothers we appreciate that fathers hearts are also broken! I guys I just again, am surprised they didn’t want more variation.
I feel like maybe seasons are healthy? There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be politically informed but maybe all the time is too much and occasional Stepford Wife seasons might be a good break? Of course there are no easy answers as you say. My main thing is that everyone (ok obviously not everyone) is walking around feeling like they *need* to be informed about global events, but it’s ok and even healthy to question that assumption.
I also know people who like it as a hobby, which is fine, but then it crosses the line into obsession, which is not fine- but this could be said of almost anything, including categorising butterfly species or something super innocent. So, in sum: discernment 😅
Yes your post is so good! I completely agree that the vast majority of people shouldn't be consuming daily news. I don't think any mainstream news consumption is good! My problem is that I have a genuine interest in political thought, but that interest is lame and makes me anxious at times! I wouldn't even describe it as a need, it's a genuine interest. I just feel like I don't know what to do with it, because at times even a moderate amount of consumption makes me crazy. And I legit think if I didn't have this interest at all I'd be a happier most positive person! Haha, or that's just wishful thinking I'd always be a cynical person.
Wait why is it lame? Why can’t it just be a legit interest in political thought? Everyone is allowed to have hobbies! Maybe it’s just a matter of healthier channelling? Like a book discussion group for political thought or essays you write just for fun or anything that is an outlet rather than an inlet…
Haha because it's something no one else cares about? And it's something guaranteed to cause anxiety? I am very bad for judging my own interests. An outlet would be nice, but I fear it would just make me more despairing. I always joke with people that if I didn't have Jesus I would be in politics, but not as someone running for office, as the one with all the power behind the scenes who doesn't worry about accountability and likability in trying to gain votes. Very House of Cards. But do you sort of know what I mean when I say that? I don't have the talents and less than zero desire to try and get people to like me enough to buy what I'm selling and I don't think I have the patience to engage with people charitably one on one. Truly, it makes me sound like an awful person. This is my roundabout justification for why cutting it out cold turkey may be better!
Ok the first one doesn't matter at all, but the second... is it guaranteed to cause *you* anxiety? What I find fascinating is that you're equating a 'general interest in political thought' with 'being in politics'... I can see how the latter would cause most people anxiety but not the former. (And I know what you mean about needing other skills for that. I don't have them either! Zero patience for certain things.)
Not trying to sway you off going cold turkey! It's just that in my experience, a consistent genuine personal interest in something usually coincides with it being a gift, so quitting completely forever doesn't usually help. What about... writing your own House of Cards? Is that crazy? You could create a world where you DO get to be the one with all the power behind the scenes who doesn't worry about accountability or likeability :)
This is really interesting and I've never thought of it this way. I feel like I've probably never even thought about creating with politics in mind. I'll have to think about this some more. I seriously just need to hire you to sort out my life. It's on my to-do list.
I don't think I'm even going to bother with Pinocchio. I've read it to my kids, and I have no desire to spend ages on one random guys thoughts about it. But I'm being disagreeable!
Lol to the father books. Like, we could have read Little Britches!! Amazing father figure. In fact, I can think of lots of children's books with awesome dads!!
Aw, Little Britches is a great example and makes me cry just thinking about it! I was also thinking about North and South where she has a complex relationship with her father. Those are books that aren't central to the father character which I feel most years of WRM they really take a broader perspective of the theme, but this year feels very repetitive.
Oh yes, North and South! Gosh, now my wheels are turning and I am thinking of other ones, like Caleb Garth in Middlemarch, (though I know that was done a few years ago). Well, apart from Lear, which will certainly give us a different father type than the other books so far, maybe Ruth by Gaskell will be in the “different” vein? Not sure, not having read it before. We’ll see…
I said the exact same thing about Lear at my book club the other day, at least a bit of a switch up. And I haven't read Ruth yet so that has potential too but there are so many different stories of fatherhood, I found it odd that we were given the same thing over and over.
Completely agree about Cry, the Beloved Country! It was beautifully written, which actually made me hate The Father’s Tale even more — see, you don’t need 1000 pages to depict a great story about fatherhood, Michael O’Brien! With a few exceptions, it was the epitome of “show, don’t tell,” which I found very refreshing.
Omg yes. Such great writing. His prose was so poetic and beautiful at times it made me want to weep. And he was so good at encapsulating characters with such precise details. And he beautifully showed both fathers and the importance of their wives without having whole chapters of endless monologue! Who wouldn't thought!?
Omg Laura Thompson commenting on my little post, thank you! That's really kind of you. I really appreciate your writing and find it so interesting but also so astute. I wish you continued success and hope you have a lovely week!
I will say the one friend (who I love to death) who hates politics and avoids any real conversation with depth, is the most anxiety ridden person I've ever met. She instead gets panicked about her child having a cold (that he's going to die) or that one of her customers hates her (because they didn't respond in their usual way). So I do wonder if ignoring the greater issues would be worse because we then naturally will make mountains out of molehills because there's nothing to compare it against.
I'm sure it works both ways at somewhat different ends of the spectrum doesn't it? I don't think any human being has a life without anxiety either. It probably comes down to how we best manage it. I guess I'm just complaining that something I have a genuine interest in causes me anxiety? My whole post could have been that one sentence!
I stopped reading the news much a few years back. I realized it was making me incapable of functioning in my normal life to the best of my ability. I was pretty darn knowledgeable about what was going on. My life got more peaceful. Lately I have felt guilty for my lack of knowledge and I have wanted to learn more, but I get frustrated at the lack of unbiased info, and I find it hard to get caught up enough to have a legitimate viewpoint. Ukraine is a good example. Trump was rude to Zelinsky, but who was right? No one could tell me - everyone was just arguing about his condescension which is like being surprised a dog barks.
I recently read the Sirens’ Call, and it made me feel better for my ignorance.
I do believe you can have an active intellectual life without being immersed in political events. In many ways we are better off. But also, I think we all do have a need to be basically informed, but every time I try to, I go crazy.
I can’t read half my message bc my app formatting is off, so my apologies if there are typos. I’m blind to them.
I haven't watched or consumed mainstream "news" in years. My problem is that I genuinely am interested in political theory, philosophy, and interesting writing on the topic which I have no trouble finding lots of from varying perspectives. What I was trying to say was that I have intellectual interests in politics as politics. Which is lame because it's stupid and makes me anxious.
This is me. And my husband. We *definitely* still find out what is going on in the wide world, but we dont' read any online news, physical papers, radio, news podcasts, etc. It's in the air anyway; neighbors, family, co-workers are always doing the work for us, and then letting us know what's up. So we definitely find out what's going on, but we don't have to immerse ourselves. Also, yes, I just cannot find any source that isn't downright crazy, so I stopped trying. I think I have a fairly robust intellectual life, (also ENTJ and disagreeable!! lol!), but my interests just don't lie in current politics, so maybe that's why I find it easier to unplug!
There are plenty of people and perspectives that aren't crazy. I'm saying that my problem is that I do have a genuine interest and always have. I think most people are fine not paying daily attention because the media itself creates this sense of constant panic/rage to perpetual a 24/7 news cycle.
There is not. Actually the only difference between the two countries is much less diversity of opinion. I actually think great strides have been made in American political reporting in the last five years, there are more independent sources which are really the only sources you can even attempt to trust. In Canada there is only the accepted narrative and a really bad journalistic culture that is only perpetuated by a very ignorant populous who somehow continue to swallow it.
yes, I can get that. I admire people who understand and care about politics more than I do lol!! And you're right that the constant news cycle makes it hard to be interested in politics without being consumed!
I'm an American living in Canada, and find this current political noise to be extra annoying so I often choose to keep the news off. I feel like I understand your current predicament. I keep thinking Msgr. Shea's new book he discusses in this interview is the start of an anecdote to the current climate. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfQ417Qz6VI&t=490s but I haven't actually ordered it yet. Someday I will.
Oh, well then I am so sorry. It really is an anti-American hysteria being whipped up by media propaganda and Canadians all too willingly swallow it whole. I can't imagine how frustrating it must be as an American here. I will definitely look up this book! Thanks for sharing it with me.
I can definitely relate to the internet conundrum. One thing I realized is that for me there is a difference between reading because I’m naturally a curious person and like to know things, and researching/reading as a way to gain more information because somehow if I know everything it will make me less anxious. Usually the latter is done when I don’t really have time to do that, and is a sort of info gathering escapism. Like if I just know more about this I will be safer. For me this presents mostly in the form of medical/health research. Recently the baby had something come up we needed to check on and I would say it was a big sign of growth that I consciously chose to not go down the Internet rabbit hole. I took the actionable steps and then just waited. I think this is harder with things like politics because the actionable steps are totally unclear. For now, postpartum, I know it’s a bad time to be engaged with most things that are in the realm of “more information”.
Which is a long way of saying, gosh I don’t know. I also would sometimes like to be blissfully ignorant but it’s not really how I’m wired AND I’m pretty ignorant at the moment for survival purposes.
Yes! I know that urge to overly research well. I spent Covid obsessively checking health numbers and statistics and couldn't understand why other people didn't understand basic statistics! Sometimes I'm like, what has being smart gotten me?? A life of anxiety because I know too much and can critically think?? The ignorant masses are blissfully unaware! I know of course that's not true, but it does feel easier at times. I think it's objectively healthier now to be checked out of news consumption, and I don't consume any traditional mainstream media, I just read long boring articles and still that ramps up my anxiety at times. If I didn't have a genuine interest I would gladly fully check out. Maybe. We can hope.
Oh my goodness, I needed to laugh at this today. Thank you!!! “A life of anxiety because I know too much and can critically think?” — I feel it in my actual bones. Especially since I spent the morning on the phone scheduling medical appts and have been resisting the Google hole with varying success.
Here to say I identify completely with the blessing/conundrum of the internet interests for the stay-at-home mom trying to cobble together an intellectual life. Loved this paragraph so much it hurts. hahaha --->
"I’m not sure if this is a ridiculous niche concern in the population of moms out there. I am a highly disagreeable, ENTJ who doesn’t share a very common personality type with other moms/women, and has weird, nerdy interests. Frankly, if you’re reading and don’t know what the heck I’m talking about, you are a healthier and cooler person than I am."
Haha! I mean, I read a lot on the internet and I just wish I sometimes didn't have this genuine interest in political theory. If I could blissfully completely check out that would be great. There's responsible citizenship of course, but that can be done fairly easily without daily consumption of any form of "news", so I don't judge people at all if they don't consume it!
I relate to this so much and I have an almost completely different personality type- maybe it's not so niche!
Haha yeah I’m more INTP so not exactly the same in that regard, but you’re right that maybe the general vibe is not so niche :’)
We talked about how the father stories are all so depressing at our book club meeting last night. There ARE happy stories about fatherhood, and I would like to read some of those, please.
There really are! Or even fatherhood stories presented differently? I'm thinking Pride and Prejudice or Kristin Lavransdatter as examples, obviously they've been chosen before, but those stories fatherhood is very important to the story but it isn't the exact plot line of father goes out to look for missing child only to have heart broken in most depressing way possible.
We did an informal poll of the husbands - responses ranged from "yes, fatherhood is like that" to "sad stories are just easier to write, you guys should read A River Runs Through It."
Haha! As a River Runs Through It lover, I would always read that book. People at my book club were trying to tel me that we need more reminders of how real fatherhood isn’t appreciated or seen in our world and it’s good to read these books back to back. But I feel like that doesn’t quite give enough credit to us as mothers. I think mothers hearts are equally as broken by their children, and I think as mothers we appreciate that fathers hearts are also broken! I guys I just again, am surprised they didn’t want more variation.
I wrote a whole post about the news thing because a mom friend asked me the same question. (https://open.substack.com/pub/bythesea/p/consume-news?r=zdzsm&utm_medium=ios)
I feel like maybe seasons are healthy? There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be politically informed but maybe all the time is too much and occasional Stepford Wife seasons might be a good break? Of course there are no easy answers as you say. My main thing is that everyone (ok obviously not everyone) is walking around feeling like they *need* to be informed about global events, but it’s ok and even healthy to question that assumption.
I also know people who like it as a hobby, which is fine, but then it crosses the line into obsession, which is not fine- but this could be said of almost anything, including categorising butterfly species or something super innocent. So, in sum: discernment 😅
Yes your post is so good! I completely agree that the vast majority of people shouldn't be consuming daily news. I don't think any mainstream news consumption is good! My problem is that I have a genuine interest in political thought, but that interest is lame and makes me anxious at times! I wouldn't even describe it as a need, it's a genuine interest. I just feel like I don't know what to do with it, because at times even a moderate amount of consumption makes me crazy. And I legit think if I didn't have this interest at all I'd be a happier most positive person! Haha, or that's just wishful thinking I'd always be a cynical person.
Wait why is it lame? Why can’t it just be a legit interest in political thought? Everyone is allowed to have hobbies! Maybe it’s just a matter of healthier channelling? Like a book discussion group for political thought or essays you write just for fun or anything that is an outlet rather than an inlet…
Haha because it's something no one else cares about? And it's something guaranteed to cause anxiety? I am very bad for judging my own interests. An outlet would be nice, but I fear it would just make me more despairing. I always joke with people that if I didn't have Jesus I would be in politics, but not as someone running for office, as the one with all the power behind the scenes who doesn't worry about accountability and likability in trying to gain votes. Very House of Cards. But do you sort of know what I mean when I say that? I don't have the talents and less than zero desire to try and get people to like me enough to buy what I'm selling and I don't think I have the patience to engage with people charitably one on one. Truly, it makes me sound like an awful person. This is my roundabout justification for why cutting it out cold turkey may be better!
Ok the first one doesn't matter at all, but the second... is it guaranteed to cause *you* anxiety? What I find fascinating is that you're equating a 'general interest in political thought' with 'being in politics'... I can see how the latter would cause most people anxiety but not the former. (And I know what you mean about needing other skills for that. I don't have them either! Zero patience for certain things.)
Not trying to sway you off going cold turkey! It's just that in my experience, a consistent genuine personal interest in something usually coincides with it being a gift, so quitting completely forever doesn't usually help. What about... writing your own House of Cards? Is that crazy? You could create a world where you DO get to be the one with all the power behind the scenes who doesn't worry about accountability or likeability :)
This is really interesting and I've never thought of it this way. I feel like I've probably never even thought about creating with politics in mind. I'll have to think about this some more. I seriously just need to hire you to sort out my life. It's on my to-do list.
You can just give me a shout out in the acknowledgements of your best-selling series when it comes out ;)
(I guess I'm wondering if it's the consumption vs creation that's the issue, instead of the interest itself?)
Ooooo a good post to bring into this! Thanks Kerri.
I look forward to your newsletter because you’re honest and have interesting things to say! 😎
Thanks Antonia!
Agreed with Cry Beloved Country. Just wait till you start Pinocchio 😆
Came here to say this!
BLESS
I don't think I'm even going to bother with Pinocchio. I've read it to my kids, and I have no desire to spend ages on one random guys thoughts about it. But I'm being disagreeable!
Lol to the father books. Like, we could have read Little Britches!! Amazing father figure. In fact, I can think of lots of children's books with awesome dads!!
Aw, Little Britches is a great example and makes me cry just thinking about it! I was also thinking about North and South where she has a complex relationship with her father. Those are books that aren't central to the father character which I feel most years of WRM they really take a broader perspective of the theme, but this year feels very repetitive.
Oh yes, North and South! Gosh, now my wheels are turning and I am thinking of other ones, like Caleb Garth in Middlemarch, (though I know that was done a few years ago). Well, apart from Lear, which will certainly give us a different father type than the other books so far, maybe Ruth by Gaskell will be in the “different” vein? Not sure, not having read it before. We’ll see…
I said the exact same thing about Lear at my book club the other day, at least a bit of a switch up. And I haven't read Ruth yet so that has potential too but there are so many different stories of fatherhood, I found it odd that we were given the same thing over and over.
Completely agree about Cry, the Beloved Country! It was beautifully written, which actually made me hate The Father’s Tale even more — see, you don’t need 1000 pages to depict a great story about fatherhood, Michael O’Brien! With a few exceptions, it was the epitome of “show, don’t tell,” which I found very refreshing.
Omg yes. Such great writing. His prose was so poetic and beautiful at times it made me want to weep. And he was so good at encapsulating characters with such precise details. And he beautifully showed both fathers and the importance of their wives without having whole chapters of endless monologue! Who wouldn't thought!?
Christy THANK YOU, I'm so glad you enjoyed my Muriel essay - I adored writing it....
Completely agree about the Catholic conversion thing, how to explain? It's a true conundrum.
On the RC theme I too adored Henry Oliver's piece on Brideshead.
Again thanks!!!!
Omg Laura Thompson commenting on my little post, thank you! That's really kind of you. I really appreciate your writing and find it so interesting but also so astute. I wish you continued success and hope you have a lovely week!
🙏
I will say the one friend (who I love to death) who hates politics and avoids any real conversation with depth, is the most anxiety ridden person I've ever met. She instead gets panicked about her child having a cold (that he's going to die) or that one of her customers hates her (because they didn't respond in their usual way). So I do wonder if ignoring the greater issues would be worse because we then naturally will make mountains out of molehills because there's nothing to compare it against.
I'm sure it works both ways at somewhat different ends of the spectrum doesn't it? I don't think any human being has a life without anxiety either. It probably comes down to how we best manage it. I guess I'm just complaining that something I have a genuine interest in causes me anxiety? My whole post could have been that one sentence!
I stopped reading the news much a few years back. I realized it was making me incapable of functioning in my normal life to the best of my ability. I was pretty darn knowledgeable about what was going on. My life got more peaceful. Lately I have felt guilty for my lack of knowledge and I have wanted to learn more, but I get frustrated at the lack of unbiased info, and I find it hard to get caught up enough to have a legitimate viewpoint. Ukraine is a good example. Trump was rude to Zelinsky, but who was right? No one could tell me - everyone was just arguing about his condescension which is like being surprised a dog barks.
I recently read the Sirens’ Call, and it made me feel better for my ignorance.
I do believe you can have an active intellectual life without being immersed in political events. In many ways we are better off. But also, I think we all do have a need to be basically informed, but every time I try to, I go crazy.
I can’t read half my message bc my app formatting is off, so my apologies if there are typos. I’m blind to them.
I recently
I haven't watched or consumed mainstream "news" in years. My problem is that I genuinely am interested in political theory, philosophy, and interesting writing on the topic which I have no trouble finding lots of from varying perspectives. What I was trying to say was that I have intellectual interests in politics as politics. Which is lame because it's stupid and makes me anxious.
This is me. And my husband. We *definitely* still find out what is going on in the wide world, but we dont' read any online news, physical papers, radio, news podcasts, etc. It's in the air anyway; neighbors, family, co-workers are always doing the work for us, and then letting us know what's up. So we definitely find out what's going on, but we don't have to immerse ourselves. Also, yes, I just cannot find any source that isn't downright crazy, so I stopped trying. I think I have a fairly robust intellectual life, (also ENTJ and disagreeable!! lol!), but my interests just don't lie in current politics, so maybe that's why I find it easier to unplug!
There are plenty of people and perspectives that aren't crazy. I'm saying that my problem is that I do have a genuine interest and always have. I think most people are fine not paying daily attention because the media itself creates this sense of constant panic/rage to perpetual a 24/7 news cycle.
I actually really love politics. I just can’t stand how we find out about it now. I wonder if there’s a difference between the US and Canada
There is not. Actually the only difference between the two countries is much less diversity of opinion. I actually think great strides have been made in American political reporting in the last five years, there are more independent sources which are really the only sources you can even attempt to trust. In Canada there is only the accepted narrative and a really bad journalistic culture that is only perpetuated by a very ignorant populous who somehow continue to swallow it.
yes, I can get that. I admire people who understand and care about politics more than I do lol!! And you're right that the constant news cycle makes it hard to be interested in politics without being consumed!
I'm an American living in Canada, and find this current political noise to be extra annoying so I often choose to keep the news off. I feel like I understand your current predicament. I keep thinking Msgr. Shea's new book he discusses in this interview is the start of an anecdote to the current climate. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfQ417Qz6VI&t=490s but I haven't actually ordered it yet. Someday I will.
Oh, well then I am so sorry. It really is an anti-American hysteria being whipped up by media propaganda and Canadians all too willingly swallow it whole. I can't imagine how frustrating it must be as an American here. I will definitely look up this book! Thanks for sharing it with me.
And btw - thank you for the link to essay on Brideshead. I love that novel and never get tired of reading about it. 🤓
Me too! It is such a great book to talk about, the depths really haven't been plumbed! Plummed? Am I making this idiom up??